Stranger On A Train

My throat is sore and I feel weak. How’s that for an opening to a paragraph? I’m trying this “stream of consciousness” writing style. I forgot the point of this blog was to capture as much of myself as I can in writing. Not only is that to include hourly Parker updates but also other things that might pop up in my life. I have to admit that there is something liberating about knowing that there’s no readership with regards to this blog. Me and the VC Reporter have something in common!

One thing which kind struck about myself and moving back suburbia and living the average Middle-Income Southern California Dream is my inability to accept myself as being a member of the Soccer Mom/Dad fraternity. When I grew up here in Ventura, I always thought I’d be living in some big city all of my life enjoying its pleasures; theater, concerts, restaurants, and bars-that was supposed to be San Francisco. Well, that didn’t happen. I am back in Ventura. I’ve accepted living here; I just refuse to become part of the fraternity. Now, I’m not sure what that means but damnit, I’m sticking to it.

So back to what struck me - as people were asking me about whether I wanted Child #2 to be a boy or girl and I emphatically stated “girl”. Maybe I subconsciously didn’t want to be a part of the “perfect” family (a son and a daughter). I think that’s true, I think that I considered two daughters would set me apart from the fraternity, just a little bit but it was enough for me. Also, I do want Parker to have a sister, that I cannot deny but this acceptance of suburban Ventura is still an issue I’ve yet to come to terms with. There are other things for me to deal with, religion (prayer especially), conservatism, anti-Socialist Christians (is there anything more Christian than Socialism???), Dodger fans, volleyball as a sport, my wife’s inability to be content with the general makeup of our house (interior and exterior), and the Ventura Music Scene (no more cover bands!!).