As I'm listening to Kristen Hersh's "Uncle June and Aunt Kiyoti" song I am quickly reminded of a desire I've had for a very long time. Ya see, Kristen Hersh's dad wrote that song, without the intent of it ever being recorded by his daughter. Now I'm not inferring that I want her to record one of my songs because I've yet to write anything of that much worth. Maybe someday, who knows. But my desire is for her to have the career of Kristen Hersh's...honestly, well...except for the first Throwing Muses EP where she's not really singing but making a lot of weird sounds that's close to hollering. I do hope she has a career in music, something I never did nor wanted. In other words...I need a playmate!

Big Sister in Training

2007 In Review

-Laura got pregnant
-I got a new guitar (1999 G&L ASAT)
-Laura and I have survived some rather heated battles. Mostly regarding the division of duties and expectation we have of each other. I hope that's all natural.
-What can I say? Everyday with Parker in my life is a special day.

Santa Smokes Lucky Strikes

You would think he'd be smoking "Kools". Hmmmmmmmmm.......

You've come a long way, baby.

I have nothing else to say today.

C-mas 2007

Mix up some stress, fun, excitement, and a dash of good fortune and this Xmas was definitely a good one. The stress came about due to me trying to finish the new cd by The Magnificent Fantastic in time for xmas. It’s good to just get it over with. All those hours in the garage recording and mixing down is tiring. I do not want to listen to those songs for a while (burnout!) Another does of stress came with assembling PJ’s play kitchen. I didn’t realize Laura and I were performing the ancient parental ritual of assembling our child’s xmas gifts the night before xmas. I finally finished it by midnight xmas eve. Wasn’t too painful however, boy was I tired the following day.

So, the fun and excitement came from Parker and there are several reasons for it:

1) The joy of seeing that little girl get so excited by new toys will always be a memorable thing to me. She loved the kitchen! Since xmas (two days so far) she wakes up and says “I want to play with my kitchen” then trods off and keeps herself entertained. It’s nice. She is also having a blast with her new dolls (and stroller) and her animal hospital. Last night before we put her to bed she was moving from one toy to another every 20 seconds or so. Poor thing couldn’t keep her head on straight. When I decided it was time for her to go to bed, she went right to sleep.
2) She’s using the potty without having to be told to go. She just voluntarily uses it and then tells us (well she’s done that twice so far). Yippee!!
3) The way she interacts with her cousins is something special. She wants to interact with all of them in whatever capacity she can. Her and Caleb seem to have a special relationship. Caleb has a very gentle, caring way about seeing after Parker. I hope that continues. Laura was telling me about one moment when Parker was in her high chair eating lunch and she told Caleb that she went “pee pee in the potty” and Caleb walked up to her and gave her a hug and said “good job”. Pretty impressive relationship between a 4 year old and a not-yet 2 year old.
4) There was a moment last night when a ll the kids were dancing in the middle of the room with everyone watching. Parker, Ella, Bias, Ephraim, and Caleb…very cute.
So with all that, it’s back to work……

I’m trying to help. I don’t blame Laura for needing help. Parker is a full-time job with mandatory overtime. She’s at that age when she needs to be stimulated all the time yet she usually needs someone else to stimulate her. Sometimes she does go off on her own and do something but it usually ends up in her crying or a big mess…or both! She is really into climbing up her chest of drawers and throwing all of her clothes on the floor and trying them on one at a time. She loves wearing pajamas all the time now. Whatever. They cute part is that she calls all pajamas “Elmo Pajamas”. Last night when we made a tent and played in it she kept asking for her Dora “Elmo Pajamas”.
Whenever I watch Parker for a day or half-day I think about how tough it is to watch her all the time. I need to mention that to Laura more often…before she kills me for never complimenting her or making her feel appreciated.

Makin' Music

Creating. Creating. Creating. That’s what I enjoy about music. Just about everyone has that creative ability in some form to make music, no matter how simple or complex yet… not everyone employs it. But when it is employed, the variety is endless. It’s 2007, one would come to the conclusion that all the melodies have been written and we’re now just rewriting them with a few small changes. I don’t know if that’s true, but I agree with the idea that melodies are not endless. They can’t be, can they? Hmmmmmm.

This music project has got me thinking about why I continuously do these music projects. The simple answer is that it’s the form of creative output that is the most enjoyable while being enjoyable at the same time. Writing to me is interesting as well but music is much more fulfilling in so many ways, from writing poignant, witty lyrics to developing a melody, to putting instrumentation to it. It covers a lot more ground than writing…in my opinion.

What I like most about this project is creating the idea, the music, and the lyrics. Recording it can be a pain in the neck but once the framework is laid down, it does provide the opportunity to “layer” different rhythms and instrumentation to the song which gives it some character and therefore develops it’s own sound and personality. It’s amazing how a little mandolin or delayed guitar part can create an atmosphere to a song that most people may not even notice, however, they just might appreciate on a different level than intended, or, they may hate because it’s too busy. To each is own.
What I’ve noticed is the importance and power of simplicity in music. These children’s songs put together in a simple manner and accompanied with a simple, straight-forward melody so they seem to be very “easy on the ear”. I’m learning about simplicity and its importance in music. I hope I can employ it more often in everything I do.

Xmas Lights As Seen Through the Eyes of A Drunk

Ho Ho Ho. As christmas slowly moves into position this month, I relaize how nice it is to have a stress-free christmas. Parker is ready to open every gift under the tree whether it's hers or not which is actually quite adorable, and cumbersome at times. I'm looking forward to this christmas...why?...because of her of course. This will be the first year (she's not 2 yet) that she will actually sense something about the holiday. Now, all we have to do is ensure she doesn't become a materialistic toy freak and can step away from it all and see the holiday as something more. Although it is getting harder and harder to do that, part of the burden is on us to show her.

Know-it-alls

People just don’t get it. Laura just doesn’t get it. Several weeks ago my mom gave Laura a book on pregnancy from the 1960’s…very entertaining stuff. Laura found the part about drinking and smoking during pregnancy quite amusing. Of course, now we know much more about the dangers of ingesting various things during pregnancy (i.e. raw fish, feta cheese, bourbon, etc…) however, isn’t it ignorant not to question other procedures and foods even though they are acceptable in the medical community today? Specifically I’m referring to ultrasounds, I have this sneaky suspicion that they are not good for a developing fetus. Currently, it is very common to perform them on pregnant women. However, I have a feeling that’s going to change in 10 years or so…just like this picture implies, things change over time. Everybody now knows that Kools are preferred by doctors these days.

This is a good opportunity to tackle something I’ve been wanting to ever since I found out I was becoming a father…religion. Before it was easy, Laura and I had differing views of God and what I would refer to as the notion of a god. The discussions were usually civil in nature and usually reverted to me grilling her over what she believed and why. Now with a child it’s going to get difficult for me. I go to church with Laura (not religiously…pun intended) but usually it’s to hear the music and to support Laura, it’s definitely not so that I can read what I see on the big screen behind the pastor along with everyone else. We drop Parker off at the childcare place that the church provides and she has a jolly old time playing with all the toys they have to offer. At first she didn’t like the idea of being left there but now it seems she’s developing her own now of herself as being a capable individual. I don’t mind going, I do support their efforts to better our world by helping people in need, supporting eco-friendly actions, not begging or essentially scaring me into giving them money, also they’re not so damning towards people who aren’t like them. I appreciate Christians who possess the idea that people who don’t share their beliefs aren’t necessarily heretics; I refer to that as the “Gospel of Inclusion”.

When Parker was baptized I supported it because of it being a social ritual in this society. I don’t believe that baptism has any spiritual nature to it. It’s a rite that’s performed for people who are or aren’t believers in our society. It seems that everybody wants their children baptized whether or not they’re devoted Christians, or just Christians in name only, kind of an odd mindset if you ask me.

The crux of my concerns regarding religion is the delicate balance of honoring Laura’s beliefs upon PJ while at the same time instilling a need for her to find her own way and to question what she’s being told to believe. We as parents are such a huge influence on our children, which I think a lot of parents take for granted.

What I do believe is this…belief in a religion is not to be taken lightly.

The potty training continues, Laura called me at work at 7:45 am for the 3rd time out of 4 days. She put Parker on the phone and she said "Daddy, I went pee pee in the potty...I got a tootsie roll!".

I have to say, it makes my morning to hear that. As a parent you want to see your child's development firsthand but unfortuantely, someone has to work. Getting a phone call with Parker's voice on the other end of the phone is good enough for me.

It’s a pretty amazing job…being a parent. Teaching your child to be a truly “good” person, to know the difference between right and wrong, to treat people with kindness while at the same time recognizing who the idiots and asses are and how to eliminate them from our existence. That last part is the difficult one. Lately, Parker was and has been a defiant on from the start. I fear she’s going to be just like me when I was a child…like my dad said about me “he was a wonderful boy until he turned 13, then he knew everything”. I sense a large power struggle between her and me when she gets older. I will try to impose my will upon her and she will defiantly tell me to go fly a kite and do her own thing. Well, at least I’m prepared for it.

Our Next President

I thought now is a good time to document my predictions for the upcoming presidential election. Things have already heated up on both sides with the primaries looming in early January. On the Democartic side it's getting awfully hazy between the three leading candidates. Although my choice, Joe Biden, is nowhere in the vicinity of the leaders, I'm becoming an Obama-ite. Why? Because he's black, of course. Ok, really it's because I think he represents everything the current administration isn't. Youth, energy, openness, competence, unbleached skin, a sense of rhythm, non-secretive, etc...all the attributes contribute to my feeling that he's our man. And Hillary? Ugh, Hillary is the ultimate opportunist, move to New York to become a Senator (CARPETBAGGER!) but what's worst about her is that look she has...it's really hard to explain but I really really dislike her. And John Edwards? It's that freakin' accent of his...that silly, hick South Carolinian accent...he's got to get rid of it. He is my second choice though, he seems to have some conviction and I do appreciate his intellect. Unfortunately Oprah is not supporting him and he's white. My prediction is Obama/Edwards, I think that would be a well-balanced ticket.

Republicans...they're screwed. They got no one. Guiliani has had too many failed marriages, mistresses, secularists opinions, and now he's getting a lot of flak from the firefighters from 9/11. Mike Huckabee is making a big splash right now but he'll be out by April or so, he's got a past of ethics violations as well as an incident regarding a paroled rapist who was let out of jail and he raped and killed again...very Willy Hortonish. McCain should be the front-runner and by all accounts has done enough in his life to earn the position of President, however, he's got this hawk-ish view on the Iraq War which is scary. He's shot himself in the foot with this matter yet I still hopes he presides. And Mitt Romney (what a stupid first name) won't be president because he's Mormon and they believe in magic underwear...simple as that. My prediction is that they elect two vice presidents and choose to trade off being president every year for 4 years. They've got 4 qualified vice presidents out there and no electable presidential candidates. Ok, so my real prediction is Fred Thompson/Guiliani even though Thompson hasn't done much to impress yet.

Day #2 - Opening Up is Hard To Do

It's only day 2 of this blog and I've already got a ton of depressing things to write about but I'm not going to. Just not comfortable yet...this is 100% private but putting one's feeling out there for no one yet everyone to peruse is just a bit uncomfortable for me. Perhaps soon I will be able to open up.......

What was once an exciting, inspiring concept is now becoming more of an arduous piece of feces. This children's music project is no longer fun. No one else really cares (except Jeff) and frankly the burden's on me to get people involved. Much like everything else in my life from work to personal, the burden's on me to get people motivated. Work is the worst, my biggest fallibility is my curiousity and willingness to try something new and figure it out. What happens then is that people rely on you to teach/show them how to use it effectively. It's partly my fault, I know that.

I’m desperately trying to figure how all this is gonna pan out. PJ is a whirlwind to keep up with (and she’s not even 2 yet) and Laura is 3 months pregnant. How is this going to affect my life? How much more is this going to affect my life? As much as I enjoy PJ and yes, she’s an absolute treat to be around, I don’t know how to handle two, especially when one of them’s a newborn. That’s it! No more children after this one.

Today is the second day in a row that Laura called me, put PJ on the phone and she proceeded to tell me she went pee-pee in the potty. Very impressive!! Her voice has this special questioning intonation to it. She makes statements in a question-speaking format, hard to explain but wonderful to listen to.

A list of things I’m looking forward to doing with PJ when she’s older:
-playing catch in the street after I get home from work
-the theater…even bad theater
-our first baseball game
-helping her with her homework (algebra included)-showing her the difference between good music and crappy music (very important)

Post #1...Hola

This is my first post. I've had a few blogs in the past, this one is different. This one I'm keeping secret thereby allowing myself to open up a bit more and be completely honest. The other reason is for my daughter. I been having this strange feeling that i'm not going to be around to enjoy her life and want some sort of account for what type of person I am, what I believe (and don't believe), what I enjoy, what inspires me, why I'm so damn cynical, what's good about life, what's bad, etc.......

So we'll see how this goes, it could be fun.