Merry Xmas

Happy 70th Birthday Mom!!

Saturday, December 19th was mother’s 70th Surprise Birthday party held at our house. Approximately 25 people showed up to celebrate the event. The surprise went according to plan and mom didn’t see it coming.
My Aunt Betty was the frist to greet her with an authentic lei from Hawaii. She was also in charge of ensuring alcohol was available to all. The Mai Tais she cooked up took several people for a loop.
Didn't see it coming.Mom and her friends.
The party theme was Hawaiian (mom's place of birth) which was quite a gamble being that it was December 19th however, Mother Nature decided to float mom a present as well by giving us a beautiful 78 degree warm day to celebrate.
Laura made a deliciously elegant cake for the occasion as well as a classic coconut pudding called "haupia" that's customarily served at luaus which was delectable as well.
I think mom had too many mai tais at this point.
She was definitely tipsy at this point when she got up from her seat and proceeded to put on a blindfold and crazily wielded a stick she picked up for no apparent reason. Well, someone might have mentioned that there was a pinata she was supposed to be swinging at.

Georgia and I performed the security detail for the event. I used my height to survey the party and would strategically send Georgia through the crowd to take care of any unsightly disturbances. At the security briefing prior to the party Georgia and I set up two simple rules: No moshpits and no crowdsurfing. In this picture Georgia is pointing out a potential issue with some rough-housing being done by the kids which she quickly put a stop to.
And one final word...these guys suck. They're my friends who sat around and drank beer and "conversed" throughout the entire occasion. They skillfully positioned themselves so that they could enjoy watching me scurry around like a caffinated squirrel performing all the barbequing and hosting duties. Ugh.

And just what were they talking about at this little romantic table for two? They were geeking off about Time Warner Cable versus Direct TV. At odd times you could see them carressing their Blackberries as they talked about the latest Fry's advertisement.

I hope their computers crashed when they got home.

Thoughtful Xmas Gift Ideas

For my dear wife that has everything.......


I've never seen anyone go through "aloe-treated" tissues like Laura does. She consistently requires three to four boxes of tissues located in various strategic spots throughout the house to quell her sinus needs. The worst is when she puts them under her pillow, or even worse than that...my pillow. I hate that feeling of putting your hand under your pillow to find a used tissue with your wife's snot in it.

What's fun is watching her put on a shirt or a blanket that has collected a few molecules of dust over the past few days or week. Once it comes in contact with her body her nose starts twitching like Samantha from Bewitched and she goes on a sneezing frenzy.

And even better the roll would reach down to her bottom so that I wouldn't hear the ignominious bathroom chant that starts innocently with "Will"...I usually know by the sound and her tone that she's in the bathroom so I wait....'til the second bellowing which is notably louder "Willll!...honey can you get me a roll of toilet paper from the garage?". So I do it, then I complain about it.

So with all of that information it's quite obvious that I think the "tissue-head" idea from Japan is perfect for my Laura. Now all I have to do is buy it and convince her that she won't look silly walking around the house with a roll of toilet paper on her head. I can only imagine a time when the girls are sick and Laura can easily whip out a little tp for their runny little noses at the drop of a hat. Impressive.

This dinosaur bed would be fun just to freak Parker out. I'm sure she'd refuse to sleep in it.

Happy Birthday Seasquirt

We were recently having lunch together when Parker announced that it was her blanket Seasquirt’s birthday. This blanket has been Parker’s main squeeze since she was born. So, we suggested a birthday party for the one item that’s easily the most important inanimate object to Parker. Mom and PJ made a banana cream pie for the event and we invited Parker’s stuffed animals and our neighbor Jack to help celebrate the event!

The Shyest Ballerina in Ballerinaville

Parker’s first ballerina recital was last week. Her cousin Ella was there as well as part of the class. They held hands through about half of the recital which was awfully cute. When the time came for her to receive her applause and certificate she thought it apt to cover her face with the certificate. I was the same way as a child, I just hope she grows out of it faster than I did, for some reason I doubt that.





Now this is the Parker smile I've come to love! Although this type of smile form her is rarely available for pictures. It comes out only when there's a full moon. Usually we get her cheesy smile for the camera which is this incredibly over-emphasized smile to point that you think she just might pull a cheek muscle.

This Means WAR!

WAR!

No better game to teach your three year old how to count in addition to how to lose (Parker has no problem with the former but a definite problem with the latter) than the ancient card game War. I can remember being a little boy and having intense battles with my friends, the loser would get a "nouggy"(sp?). While playing with Parker I can see Laura’s genetics in action (her family cheats a lot at cards) when she surreptitiously swaps out low cards for high cards in the deck. She doesn’t even wait for me to turn my head. I make her count out the symbols on the card to determine the amount then I ask her “who won the battle PJ?” It’s a good game at her age.

Of course, once Georgia walks into the room the game is over. Georgia has to walk in between us, grab some cards and throw them.

Parker hates losing. Frankly, it’s disturbing to see as a parent. When she loses playing “Hi-Ho Cherry O” she starts the pouting by saying “Ooooh I always lose!” She then walks away from the game and drops to the floor and puts her hands over her head and half-heartedly cries. Now with us playing War she’s accepted losing to some degree, it’s definitely an improvement.

I thought of a great idea to further my efforts toward my daughter being a pacifist. Instead of war the game will be called “Peace”. Low card wins…simple as that. The game is officially ended with a twenty second hug.

Aging

I keep telling Laura “I can’t wait until these girls grow up and become self-sufficient”. Last night I began reconsidering that mantra. Usually I would utter such a statement when Georgia would be making a big mess with the toilet paper, or is caught eating glue from a glue stick(she likes glue), or has managed to invade our bathroom and managed to gather all of Laura's feminine hygeine products and strewn them in odd places throughout the house ("hey, this doesn't belong with the crayons and markers"), or has managed to relocate all of her spaghetti from her tray onto various parts of her face and hair rather than her mouth.

However, lately I have come to recognize how cute she is at this age...

I’ve really been enjoying the morning with Georgia. She usually makes noise around 6:30 or so from her crib. I’m usually the one to get Georgia and take her to our bed with her blanket. Once she gets into our bed she is all smiles. She then does her best to imitate Laura, Parker, or myself…

- Laura’s had a cough for the past couple of days. When she’s coughing in bed Georgia puts her hand up to her mouth and “fake-coughs” while smiling. She thinks it’s so funny and I can't help but laugh.

- When she’s lying next to me in bed soemtimes I'll whisper in her ear. She looks at me and starts whispering back. She likes to talk (mostly gibberish) so when she’s whispering it’s this barely audible gibberish…of course she’s smiling at the same time. I’m really going to miss that.

- Another think she does (which is pretty impressive) is her aping of me after I’ve yawned in the morning. She’ll belt out what one would think is a fake yawn but it’s so big it looks authentic. Yawning is infectious so I don’t know if it’s intentional. Of course, she’s smiling during that action as well.

- This morning Parker was sent to a corner for a “timeout” due to her inability to listen to me. While PJ was in the corner crying Georgia proceeded to follow her to the corner and performed some “faux-crying”. It’s sort of like real crying but definitely not as heart-felt.

All in all I realize one important thing…perhaps I’m wrong about my mantra.

What was I thinking?

Forgive Me For I Have Forsaken You

My family moved to Ventura when I was 6. I paid little attention to The Helen Powers Wright Library after I turned 15, yet for the next 26 years of my life it remained open to the public………until now.

For the past couple of years we’ve been getting books for Parker. Lately a visit to the library has been a lot of fun for the both of us. Once we walk through the door PJ madly rushes to the children’s section and manically pulls out children's books from the shelves. In a matter of 3 minutes there are 8-10 books on the table ready for checkout. If I didn’t stop her there would be 25 books on the table in 6 minutes. She would quickly scan the picture on the cover and make an instant decision if it’s worthy of checkout. It’s awfully cute to see.

I remember the field trips to the library when I went to Elmhurst Elementary School. We would take a walk to the library and on the way it’s where I was first turned on to Sour Grass. Unfortunately, I quickly bought into the rumor that the long skinny grass was sour because dogs urinated on it. My enjoyment of Sour Grass was short-lived.

I also recall checking out the Judy Blume book “Are You There God, It’s Me Margaret” at the Wright Library. I was confused about the female anatomy for so long and this book didn’t help. The book should’ve included a disclaimer saying “This Book Is Intended to Be Read By Young Girls…Scott, Go Read The Hardy Boys Or Something Else That's More Gender-Appropriate...Loser!”.



Now I feel guilty. I ignored this prized civic possession for so long. Now it’s leaving…regardless of my support.

A couple of ideas to keep the library open…

1) Barnes and Nobles sponsors the library. I propose the name not be as jolting as “The Barnes and Nobles Library”, rather it be called…“The Helen Barnes Powers Noble Wright Library”. It’s a bit long and kinda sounds like an awful lawfirm but perhaps selling out with a corporation is the only way to save it.

2) HOLD THE VENTURA CITY COUNCIL ACCOUNTABLE. After this last election I got extremely tired of reading these generic, rhetorical campaign goals but none of them championed the library as part of their platform. Sure they love Ventura and have lived here all their life and have a high regard for fiscal integrity and all the other blah blah blah but who showed enough concern to include it in their platform?

3) HOLD THE COLLEGE ACCOUNTABLE. They could've issued a lease extension to the City thereby allowing for the city and county to throw some money after it. Right now I can't blame them for not throwing more money at the library due to the fact that the college will be taking over the property in 2015.

It saddens me to see this city follow the path it chose with regards to the most popular library in the city. I think I’ll take Parker and Georgia there this weekend before it closes. It'll be kinda like visiting someone before the die. I'm going to have a hard time explaining to PJ why our neighborhood library is closing.

The measure of a civilized society is in its priorities. Ronald Reagan’s notion of a “Shining Beacon On A Hill” is becoming dimmer as we speak.

Thousand Oaks has a nice library. Camarillo has a beautiful library. Ventura has the E.P. Foster library...ugh.

Bike Ride

"Hey kids...who wants to go for a bike ride? All of you? Ok, but I don't want you to worry about me hauling an extra 75 pounds (collectively) while I cart you around the neighborhood."

JUMP!

Where were these things when I was a kid??

Opiate for the Masses

Television...a parent's best friend.

Television...the cheapest, most effective babysitter.

Television...I think I love you.

Dancin' Fool

Halloween 2009

Friends and family came to our house for Halloween this year. With all the success of the recent block party I expected our street to be a bit livelier than it ended up being. Regardless, a good time was had by all (even me). The neighboring streets made up for the malaise of festivities on our street. The kids had a great time-even Georgia who wasn’t quite sure what was going on however it didn’t matter because there was an endless supply mini-bags of M&Ms for her to devour on a continual basis.


Giving Is Better Than Receiving

One of the most exciting part of Parker’s Halloween this year was after she got home from trick-or-treating, she played with her cousins in her bedroom. The fun part was whenever the doorbell rang they would all come running down the hallway to answer the door to greet the trick-or-treaters. After a couple of times they developed a good system, when they reached the front door Ella would grab the candy bowl, Ethan would open the door, and Parker would grab as much candy as she could with both hands and literally shovel the candy into the trick-or-treater’s bags. It was quite entertaining to watch I must say although we had to put a stop to the quantity she was handing out.

Gotcha!

Later that evening I decided to have a little fun with PJ. I grabbed the first thing I saw from the dish drainer (to collect my treats), then quickly sneaked around the side door of our house and proceeded to knock on our front door in my impromptu Halloween costume.


With each year, Halloween just keeps getting better.

T.W.I.P. Notes (This Week In Parenting)

1) Parker has taken a keen interest in letters and the act of spelling her name. She can write her name however the sequence of the letters tends to be a bit erroneous (“Parekr”, “Pakrer”, or “Parkre”). Usually she brings it up when I’m wearing a shirt with writing on it. She also makes a point to verbally point out letters that are in my name as well as Georgia’s name. It's an interesting cerebral process she goes through. To witness it as a parent is divine.

2) Everybody was sick last week-Georgia, Parker, and Laura. Somehow I avoided the big mucus-laden mess. Luckily it wasn’t the flu, just head colds and congestion but it lasted all week.

3) CD number two of the Magnificent Fantastic’s new double cd “Sweet” is being finalized. This 48-song double cd will be our second (and final) effort. This project has taken about a year and a half to record with continual writing, recording, mixing, remixing, etc….ugh. I'm tired of it.



With that said this will be the final children’s music cd however, there is a new music project currently in development. The overall concept is to re-interpret the songs from the recent cd, “Sweet” into a homosexually-themed concept album. The name of the project will be “The Fagnificent Mantastic".

Now hear me out...

This quite original yet highly-controversial musical project will take the song titles from “Sweet” and re-interpret the lyrics to meet the project directive...a celebration of all things "gay". Song titles from the children’s cd will be used in both projects. These songs include “Pink Thongs”, “Spank Me”, “Mr. Fancy Pants”, “Play With Your Toys”, and “Tickle Here, Tickle There”.

Other project ideas that were bandied about yet determined to be too controversial were:

-A collection of songs celebrating the greatness of the Dahl family called “The Bragnificent Clantastic”. Songs include "Let's Cheat at Snarts", "The Toilet is Full of Crap and SO IS THE GARAGE!", and the country classic "The House Looks Empty With Just Three Cars Parked In Front of it".

-A grouping of musical numbers acknowledging older ladies with cleavage titled “The Sagnificent Cantastic”

-A jubilant celebration of the menses with the working title “The Ragnificent Madtastic”

Georgia the Daredevil

Ouch.

First Rainy Day of the Season

I love the rain! Rainy days are something to celebrate. We always have in my family.
When I was little my mom would always bake chocolate chip cookies on rainy days. We'd go for long walks in the rain, stepping on snails, racing toy boats down the gutters. One time, when the rain was really heavy, my best friend, Melissa, and I actually got our boogie boards out and tried to ride them down the "river" in the gutter. There is so much fun to be had on the few rainy days we get in Ventura.

When we woke up on Wednesday morning, first thing we did was open the front door and sat in the doorway and watched the rain. This was a first for Georgia (I'm sure she doesn't remember it from last year).

Parker went with Dad to get the paper.
After Georgia's nap I took the girls out for a walk in the rain and a search for good splashing puddles.

We didn't find many good puddles but we did come across a tetherball court.
It was so warm and humid! Some of the rain gear came off before we headed home.