Citizen (Nova) Kane

I had an interesting visit to the dentist yesterday. I was debating canceling the appointment due to me being so busy but I decided I’d go and get away from work for a brief time. It turns out that they had to do quite a bit of work on a tooth and it’s neighbor (filling and a new crown) which included Novocain and waiting for it to take effect, drilling, more drilling, and getting molds done for the new crown, etc… doesn’t sound like a very good time does it?

The dentist office has the luxury of having a flat screen television in front of each dentist’s chair which has endeared me to them for the brief time that we’ve been going there. In the past Soco (the nurse) has provided me with a fleece blanket if I have a morning appointment for my legs. She even tucks the blanket under your legs for you, much the same way Parker is tucked into her bed. This time however, I got a different nurse.

So as soon as I sit down the dentist comes in (he looks someone who was picked on a lot in high school) and tells me about all the fun things he’s going to be doing to me today and I’m sitting there thinking about how much I’d rather be at work. So after Baby Huey finishes his oral report (pun intended) I sit back and the nurse offers me up some television…”how about the “E” channel or VH1” she says. “Hmmmmm, how about Turner Classic Movies?” I say? “Well”, she said, “that’s an interesting request”. Why she said that I don’t know, it’s not like a requested Home Shopping Network or Free Speech TV or the like. Anyhow, she turns the channel and BANG! There it is…the opening credits to Citizen Kane. How lucky is that? I never get lucky like that. Here I am in the dentist chair with and hour and a half to kill in the dentist’s chair and the opening credits to Citizen Kane come up on the television screen. What can I say…it made my day. They even give you headphones to listen to it as opposed to listening to endless drilling of one’s own teeth.

So I get to watch and/or listen to the movie (I’ve always admired its dialogue), which made the appointment much less discomforting. Interestingly, Baby Huey walked in and said, ”oh, this is the movie Rosebud” isn’t it? I didn’t respond to it because I think he was talking to the dental hygienist (who is much older than me). Then she says, “I’ve never seen the movie but I’ve read the book”. Hmmmmmm, not sure how to respond to that one. There is no book, it’s an original screenplay written by a very good drunk Joseph Mankewicz and Orson Welles. I figured it was best to keep my mouth shut.

The movie to me is the greatest movie of all time, not solely because of the movie itself but the multi-faceted story behind the movie. It supports the notion that “reality is stranger (and much more interesting) than fiction”. The reasons for this are far too numerous and encompassing for me to even attempt to document on this blog. Some other time perhaps.
Anyhow, I hope Huey knows he made my day.

Knock-Knee'd

Parker is quite knock-knee'd. I think it's so cute! I'm not worried about it because Nathan was severely knock-knee'd as a child and his legs straightened out perfectly.

Temper Fit Face

This is Parker having a temper fit. I'd like to point out that she dressed herself completely for this outing to the Skirball to see the Bob Dylan and Noah's Ark exhibits.

Happy Birthday

Today is dad’s birthday. If he were still alive he would be 72 years old. I’m trying to think of what I would buy him for his birthday if he were still alive. Whatever it is that I would get him I’m sure Parker would be a big part of it.

I’ve had this vivid memory of a moment in time when I was a young lad. I was probably nine of ten years old; we were visiting my grandmother and grandfather in San Jose. My dad and I went to the park to play some catch. While we were throwing the football back and forth to each other I recall this big dog coming right toward me running full speed and barking at me. He was probably forty or fifty yards away. I remember panicking and basically freezing up…just standing there while this big dog was coming at me like I was its next meal. All of a sudden my dad shows up out of nowhere and chases the dog away from me. It may not seem much but it’s one of those memories that has stuck with me all of my life. Perhaps the dog just wanted to play with me or wanted to chase the football or something innocent like that but as a young kid seeing a dog running full speed directly at you, it’s memorable on several levels.

Happy Birthday Dad.

ParkerJo's First Email

kmgkpppppppppppp p p pppppp-pppp kkjkklklkaaax atttttt5tyttttttttttnw22w232232ef22222

This is an email from Parker. She said she wanted to email you.


vvvvv vv bb bnbh JJ N,M BEBBss

Vaguely looks like one of my text messages.

Like Some Whine With That Cheese?

Memorial Day weekend 2008, four days of suburban felicity while being immersed with parental beatitude after being drop-kicked through the goal posts of home repair. I do not like going under the house for any reason and am resigned to no longer frequent that location. All this work is being done in order to prepare the “Grand Transfer” of Parker’s room to the room next to ours. So, let the games begin…and end…quickly! The movement of wires under the house, furniture in the house, and the need to create shelving all around the house has created work for me…and that’s not a good thing on this four-day holiday weekend but it has to be done. Did I mention the fact that Laura’s 8 months pregnant and “nesting” like a crazy woman? On top of that she’s as mobile as pregnant woman about to burst.

Parker is further developing her personality before our very eyes. She’s covering all the things a kid her age (2 ½) should be doing while adding her own flavor to it as well:

She made her first purchase. She was walking down the aisle at Kohl’s with three items of clothing and mom’s credit card, she walked up to the counter and handed it all to the lady.

She has developed an insatiable appetite for cheddar cheese in the form of a large block (see picture above).

”Cuz why?” -Questioning all things regardless of how meaningless and indefinable they might be.

She’s developed an irrational love of pajamas. This weekend she was given several opportunities to visit Ali, go for a walk, play in the back yard, however, she’d rather stay inside the house on a beautiful spring day rather than change her clothes and go outside.

Acceptance of the notion that we will not buy her whatever she sees and wants at the toy store.

Occasional temper fits, sometimes out of frustration when she can’t get her clothes on by herself and other times when she’s denied one of her favorite snacks (fruit twists, ice cream sandwiches, fruit rollups, etc…)

Annoyingly refers to items in our bedroom as "Mommy's". "Mommy's bathroom", "Mommy's bed"-I bought that bed! It cost me over a $1,000!

She is getting excited about the idea of having a new room with a new bed (no more crib). Let’s see how long that lasts…

She’s making up her own songs which is pretty interesting. She sings herself to sleep most nights.

Before and After

I marvel at how much Parker has changed since she was a baby. She looks like a different person to me today than she did when she was a baby. She looked so much like Will when she was born but now I think she's looking more like me.

"She's So Advanced"

Will hates it when I say that, but the fact is...she is advancecd. I just wanted to document that Parker was potty trained at 2 years and 1 month of age. That means she didn't have hardly any accidents from February until last week. We're a little perplexed because she had the whole thing down pat for months but just recently has been having accidents. We think it may be because Georgia's on the way but we can't be sure. It could just be that she's not even two and a half yet and this happens. Anyway, she is doing great.

Brought to you by Howard Morey

Bach and Roll!

Eulogy for a Guitar

Friends, Musicians, Countrymen, lend me your ears. I come to bury G&L, not to praise it!

Here lies "Fredo", my 1999 G&L ASAT Classic guitar. He's been dealt away for a new friend, a 1995 Epiphone Supernova and cash. Fredo was a good friend to the family; he never went out of tune, never received a scratch of any form, was always prepared for whatever chaotic riff it had to play, and he never complained about the fact that it wasn't a real Fender. After all he was a Telecaster body yet he wasn't a Fender. Though created by the founder of Fender guitars, he always found himself somewhat diminished in value due to the fact that the words "G&L" were on the headstock rather than the falsely prestigous "Fender Telecaster". Several times he was found to be shouting "I can handle metals riffs, I'm not like everyone says...only intended for country pickers...I'm multi-capable damnit...and I want respect! ...someone get me a banana dacquiri!!"

That was the last thing Fredo said to me...he was traded the next day.

Lest not be ignored the accolades of Fredo. In spite of his insubordinate attitude, he was a free-spirit and played like one. Many songs were recorded with Fredo, many simple guitar parts that provided a special sound to recordings that needed that something special. Let it be known, Fredo was a great rhythm machine - but more was needed, plus I already have a Japanese Strat that provided the same service and didn't complain about "needing respect" and all that.

I could tell problems were going to occur when Fredo and Supernova were left in the same room. Fredo, was is very territorial, started off by referring to Supernova as the "Dweebcaster". Supernova held her ground, referring to Fredo as "JapStrat's Sidekick" and sometime referring to Fredo as a "Bastardized Fender". It was obvious these two were not going to get along. Anything remotely related to Fender becomes unglued when put next to anything remotely related to a Gibson.

So, in passing, let us pay our respects to Fredo and wish him happy pickin'!!

What We Won't Be Doing This Memorial Day Weekend...

Driving.

Chocolate Fountain

Laura's Birthday Card from 2006

This was the picture I was trying to recreate with the Mother's Day card in the previous post. I could control this month-plus old baby, now it's a different story. Here I'm using the formidable "Ol' Lefty" technique of picture taking, I seem to be getting worse at it.

May 11, 2008 Mother's Day Card Outtakes

I was trying to recreate a picture I did for Laura's birthday in 2006 where Parker and I were on the bed and used the Ol' Lefty technique to take the picture. Back then it was a lot easier, now she's too hyper and too uninterested in the notion of photography, and I simply couldn't get a shot in focus for whatever reason.

Regardless, here's a couple outtakes that didn't make the final cut.

And the "Creepiest Article from The 60's" Goes To...

This article furthers the ever-struggling sexist cause by characterizing the dismantling of a gun like removing the clothes off of a woman. There's a hilarious "shooting blanks" pun in there somewhere.

And The Award for the "Creepiest Ad From The 70's" Goes To...

Here's what is says...

"Though she was a tiger lady, our hero didn’t have to fire a shot to floor her. After one look at his Mr. Leggs slacks, she was ready to have him walk all over her. That noble styling sure soothes the savage heart! If you’d like your own doll-to-doll carpeting, hunt up a pair of these he-man Mr. Leggs slacks. Such as our new automatic wash wear blend of 65% “Dacron®” and 35% rayon–incomparably wrinkle-resistant. About $12.95 at plush-carpeted stores."

Ok. Last Political Message...I Swear

This one is a classic.

"Don't Touch My Ass"

I've never seen a gayer political picture than this(except maybe for any picture of Larry Craig...or Barney Frank). Regardless, this should be the one and only picture required for Obama to solidify his place in the White House in 2009. I don't even think George wants to hug him but "The Maverick" needs some love from his ever-failing President.


Now some nausea is settling in, I can't look at this anymore.


No more politics for a while...and this time I mean it!

Tuesday Night

Tuesday night is Laura's Prenatal Yoga Class so it's the “me and Parker show” once a week for a little while to come. I thought it would be a good idea for us to get out of the house on those evenings just because most of the time we spend alone together is at the house. Plus, it allows me the opportunity to rip my wedding ring off, drag Parker to the mall and use her adorable face to score some chicks. All I have to do is interject a horrific story about mommy abandoning us so she could travel to Bali with her yoga instructor for intense transindental meditation training and you've got a can't-miss strategy.

So last week we went pajama shopping and this week we went Mother’s Day shopping at the mall. It wasn’t a very eventful trip but there was an interesting 20-30 minutes we spent sitting on one of the couches in front of the Mrs. Fields/Cinnabon/Pretzel Time “Triangle of Terror”. I’ve never sat on a couch at a mall before. After a few minutes of her just playing around on the couch and moving from couch to couch I just sat back and performed some quality people-watching. I’m not sure why but it was kinda interesting to sit there and watch the pretzel guy make pretzels, the girl on the phone talking to her boyfriend, etc…. About 20 minutes in I decided to do something I’ve never done before, buy a Mrs. Fields’ cookie (well, 4 of them actually-buy 3 get 1 free). $5.15 later I came to the conclusion that they are definitely not worth it.

As PJ and I made our way back to the van through JC Penny’s she made a run for it. She just took an immediate right turn in the bedding area and took off like a skier on a slalom course.

I had no chance locating Wilma Rudolph, that girl can run.

I gave up trying to find her and just waited for her to realize that the Great Escape was successful and that the game had consequences, like being all alone in a big department store. Two minutes later she came out to the main aisle looking for me. I didn’t even think about disciplining her until earlier today. Hell, I thought it was kinda cute, and pretty impressive how she took to those corners!

1.5 Million

That's how many people have now donated to Obama. Impressive, no? I confess that I am one of those people earlier this year(a whopping $25 donation). No one has ever come close to this amount of "grass roots support" in history. And it was done by the Internet, joyfully destroying the power of major donors to control a candidate, empowering so many to make a difference and altering the face of campaign finance for ever. And yet the Democrats (which I am not a member!) are seriously considering rebuking this astonishing achievement in favor of a oerson who represents none of those attributes, an old nepotistic opportunist whose campaign, when it hasn't been incompetent, untrustworthy, and very much complacent, has been straight from the Rove playbook.

Any Democrat who spurns this achievement is destroying their own party, and its future. This has been a revolutionary campaign already. Because it has been built as much from below as from above. And because it has brought so many to believe in their country and its politics again. I don't care if I am thereby tarred as an Obama kool-aid drinker. The facts remain, and one day, this very ideal will become the norm in politics. Nothing is more pleasing to me than seeing power brokers in the political process lose their ability to peddle influence upon the policies of this country.

The inspiration that Obama has created is not necessarily policy-driven or is it even on the topic of "hope", the inspiration he's created from me is the way in which he has conducted himself and his campaign. He has truly risen above all other campaigns of memory and delivered a prime example of how people should run for President. You see Hillary fabricating herself as a working class candidate, a woman of the middle to lower class people which I cannot understand. Why do we want "the person we'd like to have a beer with" as the President? I want someone who's better educated than me and knows it and knows how to wisely use their personality, intellect, education, life experiences, etc... in the Oval Office to their full advantage.

So. let's have a sip of kool-aid and see what happens today in Indiana and North Carolina.

Life From an Upside Down Window

Everything seems to be in the progress of being turned upside down. That’s not meant as a negative, just an observation. I remember writing a song before PJ was born about the very same thing. I’m not writing a song about this one but nevertheless, I’m bracing myself for the world about to be turned upside down. Right now it’s just a lot of preparation-preparation we’re not nearly close to finishing as of yet. We’ll get there though, sooner of later. I think I’ll sit back and wait for Laura’s “nesting phase” to start kicking into high gear and let her do all the work. There’s a lot of baseball to watch right now and NBA playoffs are off and running and the Democratic primary is still growing in size like The Blob so there’s plenty of things to occupy my time.

The usual suspects involved are:
-Preparing Parker’s room
-Preparing Georgia’s room
-Moving the computer desk out to the living room area
-Going under the house to redirect the Ethernet cable to the living room in order for network connectivity
-Purchasing (and mounting) a flat screen in our bedroom
-Going under the house again to figure out how to move the satellite receiver lines for the “Television Relocation Project”
-The elimination of the hope that either of us will be getting a good night’s sleep for a while
-Dealing with Parker’s predictably unstable behavior once she realizes there’s a baby in the house that needs a lot of attention, attention that was once all directed at her

Oh, and trying to relax while all this goes on.

The Most Amusing Event Of The Weekend

Okay, this is the last political posting for a while, it's getting old. However, this was so very interesting that I have to bring it up. With the Indiana/North Carolina Primaries in a couple of days, Hillary thought it be a good idea to support the only female horse (filly) in the race in this year's Kentucky Derby that occurred over the weekend. It was a fitting choice for her, the filly was a 20-1 underdog in the biggest horse race in the world and it was the only female racing as well. Sounds familiar?? A don't blame her for playing it up, and to some degree it worked-the horse came in second which was a surprise to a whole lot of people in attendance. However, she broke both legs in the process and was immediately euthanized (killed) right there on the spot. That second part kinda ruined the whole metaphor for her I guess. Too bad, she coulda played that metaphor all the way to the vice presidency!

So what does that say about her campaign? She's elected V.P., finds Bill in bed with Barbara Walters-shoots them both down then has no choice but to take her own life rather than face the consequences?

Either way, a more enjoyable news item I have not seen in some time.





Hillary, please go away. Your political games of guilt by association, fear mongering, and general negative advertising have degraded this primary to just another triival primary election. Obama is trying to raise the level of dialogue with the electorat in a way that has not been done in these modern times. Allbeit, I am frustrated that he's not talking about the issues that really plague this country to an acceptable level. I have to assume partly it's because he's busy being on the defensive answering William Ayers or Reverend Wright questions instead. But Hillary's campaign is one of desperation, she has harmed her image and I fear this country is too stupid to know how they're being manipulated.

So, who's for euthanizing the good Senator from New York before the finish line?

Let's Embrace #2

The “I wish I was Seymour Hersh” non-white pseudo-liberal fascists with a gay Un-American name, Fareed Zacharia has written an important article in Newsweek this week titled “The Post-American World”. In it he posits that America has fallen short in its title as the last World Superpower. Although some of the logic he employs is kinda silly when one writes to a premise as ominous as this one. He cites the size of our greatest landmarks and American “staples” has been overtaken by other landmarks throughout the world. For example, the enormous gambling business in Vegas has been overtaken by a slew of casinos in the Middle East. Although this isn’t a good example of the premise, he is posing an interesting one that is pretty difficult to analyze. It is so all-encompassing that the analysis is due to make you suffer from a brain cramp due to overuse.

I applaud the discussion though. This country needs a dose of humility. There is a need to reassess our place in the world and really focus on what we need to flourish and not what Israel, Great Britain, the entire Middle East, Putin’s Russia, etc… require of us but what our constituents need of us. I know, it’s naive to think everything is inter-related but something needs to happen here…no?

And two other things that Fahreed doesn’t bring up:

• Our USA Basketball team has not won gold in the Olympics in 10 years...
• Our USA Baseball team got their behinds kicked twice during the Olympics as well as the World Baseball Challenge last year.

We borrow so much money from China in order to subsidize our current existence, we’ve come to a point that if China called us on their loan-we’d be in serious trouble, but then again would they because we’re their very best customers. My suggestion would be to do something really “liberal” and force companies to build her in America with the government providing some form of subsidy for them like the way we subsidize farmers who grow corn for ethanol…AND NOT FOR FOOD. Maybe even a tariff on items purchased outside the U.S.? May be a stupid idea?

So, let’s embrace #2, it’s nice not to be in charge. WHO NEEDS THE HEADACHE? #2 will allow us to do a lot more under the radar (pun intended) and possibly evolve into a better nation of people who’s brain cells aren’t being held hostage to the barrage of idiotic pandering they are about to be exposed to from now until the third week in November. Ugh, I am not looking forward to this process-it’s like a volleyball game that goes into Octuple Overtime…help me.

Career Path?

There's always demand for a good dishwasher in the world.