One of Those Moments In Time

Sitting at the dinner table last night, with it being such a beautiful warm Sunday evening I suggested we go for a walk. I suggested Arroyo Verde Park and Laura had a good idea of walking on one of its trails. So we threw PJ in the van and went for a nice walk, Parker kept up with us in very impressive fashion. After we walked the trail we took the long walk back across the empty park and the funniest vision hit both Laura and I. Parker ran and ran and ran across the park embedding this image that I hopefully will never forget. What that image of Parker running represents is several things; innocence, energy, joy, and exuberance. She kept veering to her right trying to run around me so that she could return to the play area. While she was doing that she was constantly giggling-something I will never forget. If only I had our video camera then, it's something I would definitely want to capture on film. I know I’m not representing last night very well with what I’m writing but sometimes it’s so damn difficult to articulate these kinds of things. I can see that feeling in Laura’s eyes sometimes; it’s another “feeling” that I can’t sufficiently explain in words but what I can say is that it’s that I know exactly what she’s feeling. That image of PJ running in an empty park at dusk last night is as fulfilling an experience as any I’ve had. For a macro-perspective it is a feeling that one doesn’t have unless they have children. As I said in a song I wrote for Laura’s Birthday Cd, I never expected to be experiencing this when I was younger. My idea of a complete life did not include the notion of children. It definitely included a respectable job, making music (on a large scale, playing concert halls, recording music I could be proud of, etc…), and a happy relationship with a woman…but children? That thought never entered my mind. What happened to me? Is it because of the type of child PJ is? Would I feel this way if our child were a whiny, unhappy child? I really wonder if any child of mine would bring this out of me or can it be attributable to PJ and her personality.

It doesn’t get any better than this; soon she will lose that innocence and become a cynical curmudgeon like her father. I’m trying to enjoy these times as much as possible. When Georgia comes the dynamic is going to change even more, I hope it’s only for the better. I know PJ is going to love having a little sister-she has such a nurturing nature to her…and she’s only two!