I think I’m being suckered. And this exercise in making Scott a sucker is quite the long-term version of “Punk’d”. I came upon this while driving to work and thinking about my own childhood and the personalities of my girls that are already coming to the forefront.
I spend an inordinate amount of time right now with the girls. Albeit, in a limited cognitive capacity (Parker’s 2 ¾ year old and Georgia just turned 4 months old), the amount of time I spend with the girls is still a major investment on my part. Usually it’s easy because I want to spend time with them but there’s always those times/days/moments when I my own agenda that doesn’t include their participation.
The scientific theory in which I posit is called the Powers’ Three Laws of Parenthood. Crafted in the spirit of Sir Isaac Newton’s three laws of motion, these laws are interrelated and provide a brief insight into what it is to be a parent.
First Law of Parenthood - "A body continues to maintain its state of rest or of uniform motion unless acted upon by an external unbalanced force."
This encapsulates what I’ve been writing in this blog for a long time. I was in a state of rest during the pre-children era of my existence. This age of existence was very much uniformed until tidalwave Parker hit my shores and thus, the external unbalanced force (my new pet name for PJ) known as parenthood began. The point of this law is to understand where we came from…remember “those who forget their past are condemned to repeat it”. This law enables parents to understand things from a macro level….the big picture and such. With that said, it must be stated that my participation in this “parenting endeavor” is miniscule in importance as compared to Laura’s.
Second Law of Parenthood - "F = ma: the net force on an object is equal to the mass of the object multiplied by its acceleration."
Simply put, the more psychological weight thrusted upon me multiplied by the velocity of stressful occurrences due to parenthood and other life choices equals the net force of interminable pain.
Third Law of Parenthood - "To every action there is an equal and opposite reaction."
I spend an inordinate amount of time right now with the girls. Albeit, in a limited cognitive capacity (Parker’s 2 ¾ year old and Georgia just turned 4 months old), the amount of time I spend with the girls is still a major investment on my part. Usually it’s easy because I want to spend time with them but there’s always those times/days/moments when I my own agenda that doesn’t include their participation.
The scientific theory in which I posit is called the Powers’ Three Laws of Parenthood. Crafted in the spirit of Sir Isaac Newton’s three laws of motion, these laws are interrelated and provide a brief insight into what it is to be a parent.
First Law of Parenthood - "A body continues to maintain its state of rest or of uniform motion unless acted upon by an external unbalanced force."
This encapsulates what I’ve been writing in this blog for a long time. I was in a state of rest during the pre-children era of my existence. This age of existence was very much uniformed until tidalwave Parker hit my shores and thus, the external unbalanced force (my new pet name for PJ) known as parenthood began. The point of this law is to understand where we came from…remember “those who forget their past are condemned to repeat it”. This law enables parents to understand things from a macro level….the big picture and such. With that said, it must be stated that my participation in this “parenting endeavor” is miniscule in importance as compared to Laura’s.
Second Law of Parenthood - "F = ma: the net force on an object is equal to the mass of the object multiplied by its acceleration."
Simply put, the more psychological weight thrusted upon me multiplied by the velocity of stressful occurrences due to parenthood and other life choices equals the net force of interminable pain.
Third Law of Parenthood - "To every action there is an equal and opposite reaction."
These “actions” make up the emotional investment we parents put into our children on a daily basis for approximately the first 12 years of the child’s existence. The Powers’ Third Law of Parenthood states that the child’s first 12 years make up the most important part of their emotional development stage. It is during that period that their interdependencies and self-sustainment abilities are honed and perfected. The next twelve years is the timeframe in which those very qualities are used against you and your children become incredibly independent from you and actually prefer the company of others rather than yourself..supero omnia!
I can see it coming, there's no doubt about it. I'm sitting here investing my time into the development of these two girls thereby creating a very special father-daughter bond...then...I just know they're going to turn into teenage girls, deem that their life is not reliant on me (except for $$), then proceed to throw me on a sailboat and send me adrift somewhere in the Pacific Ocean. I need to be prepared for that kinda stuff now rather than later.
Women...they'll break your heart if you let 'em.
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