Three Laws of Motion - Hijacked For My Pleasure

I think I’m being suckered. And this exercise in making Scott a sucker is quite the long-term version of “Punk’d”. I came upon this while driving to work and thinking about my own childhood and the personalities of my girls that are already coming to the forefront.

I spend an inordinate amount of time right now with the girls. Albeit, in a limited cognitive capacity (Parker’s 2 ¾ year old and Georgia just turned 4 months old), the amount of time I spend with the girls is still a major investment on my part. Usually it’s easy because I want to spend time with them but there’s always those times/days/moments when I my own agenda that doesn’t include their participation.

The scientific theory in which I posit is called the Powers’ Three Laws of Parenthood. Crafted in the spirit of Sir Isaac Newton’s three laws of motion, these laws are interrelated and provide a brief insight into what it is to be a parent.

First Law of Parenthood - "A body continues to maintain its state of rest or of uniform motion unless acted upon by an external unbalanced force."

This encapsulates what I’ve been writing in this blog for a long time. I was in a state of rest during the pre-children era of my existence. This age of existence was very much uniformed until tidalwave Parker hit my shores and thus, the external unbalanced force (my new pet name for PJ) known as parenthood began. The point of this law is to understand where we came from…remember “those who forget their past are condemned to repeat it”. This law enables parents to understand things from a macro level….the big picture and such. With that said, it must be stated that my participation in this “parenting endeavor” is miniscule in importance as compared to Laura’s.

Second Law of Parenthood - "F = ma: the net force on an object is equal to the mass of the object multiplied by its acceleration."

Simply put, the more psychological weight thrusted upon me multiplied by the velocity of stressful occurrences due to parenthood and other life choices equals the net force of interminable pain.

Third Law of Parenthood - "To every action there is an equal and opposite reaction."

These “actions” make up the emotional investment we parents put into our children on a daily basis for approximately the first 12 years of the child’s existence. The Powers’ Third Law of Parenthood states that the child’s first 12 years make up the most important part of their emotional development stage. It is during that period that their interdependencies and self-sustainment abilities are honed and perfected. The next twelve years is the timeframe in which those very qualities are used against you and your children become incredibly independent from you and actually prefer the company of others rather than yourself..supero omnia!

I can see it coming, there's no doubt about it. I'm sitting here investing my time into the development of these two girls thereby creating a very special father-daughter bond...then...I just know they're going to turn into teenage girls, deem that their life is not reliant on me (except for $$), then proceed to throw me on a sailboat and send me adrift somewhere in the Pacific Ocean. I need to be prepared for that kinda stuff now rather than later.

Women...they'll break your heart if you let 'em.

How Long To Sing This Song

Happy 40th Birthday to me.

I'm the first to admit that eclipsing the 40th year of my life is not really a memorable milestone. It's like when Roger Bannister broke the four minute mile...big deal, all he did was run a little bit faster than his predecessors which continually happens to this day. There's much more important milestones in my life that should carry more weight than turning 40. It's all relative right? I chose not to number these milestones because it would take entirely too much cognition to prioritize by importance.

MILESTONE: When it comes to milestones the first one that comes to mind is the birth of child number one. The progression from husband to husband and father is ten-fold-accompanied with all the future responsibility it bears. It impacts everything about your life and forces you to question what were your priorities before parenthood. Once birth occurs there's this enormous amount of responsibility, concern, pride, fear, and joy which engrosses your state of mind. Definitely a major milestone.

MILESTONE: Age 17, soundcheck at Moggs. I can still relive the memory, setting up my new Pearl World Series 7 piece drum set on the stage at Moggs and the sound engineer calls for a soundcheck on the drums. I sit down, hit some half notes on the bass drum and right at that point is where my memory is as clear as can be. The power, the concussion of hitting that bass drum was better than any drug, of that I am sure. From there I played my drums for about 10 to 15 minutes for the engineer to get some good levels and embraced the noise.

It was that memory which taught me later in life the importance of listening to the music. What I mean is that at that age I did not have the maturity to play drums to complement the music-at that age it was complexity multiplied by volume equals good drummer. It took a long time to realize the importance of listening to the song and determining if drums should be merely a support role for the greater good(musical socialism)…the song. Regardless, playing drums in that atmosphere is a memorable aphrodisiac.

MILESTONE: Finding the relationship of a lifetime. There are plenty of people out there who have all the attributes and desire to be with another person yet due to circumstances, they never meet that person or they do and fail to advance their interests. Finding that complement is truly something momentous. I remember going through that sort of introspective evaluation with regards to Laura. I didn’t put it to paper and write down the positives and negatives. It was much more of a progressive, organic process. But really I didn’t need to go through much internal debate on the matter. It was all pretty evident and real to me right from the start that we were going to be together for a long time. Simply put, the fact that I get to experience the rest of my life with Laura by my side is a very definitive milestone.

Our Girls

Parker is such a good big sister to Georgia. I was prepared for jealousy issues however Parker has not really shown any jealous behavior. She did compete for my attention a little in the beginning. But most of the time, Parker is very concerned for Georgia's well being. Often she'll tell me to go get the baby when she's crying. She likes to pick out Georgia's outfit every morning. When I need to get something done, I'll ask Parker to babysit and she'll talk to Georgia (about 2 inches from her face).

The Pop Cultural Divide

Fertilicious

There's Too Many Women In My Life. I never thought I would have to say something like that.

Being patient with children…sometimes an exercise in fertility…uh…..no….futility.

Having two kids really does teach one about oneself if you just step back for a minute and analyze your actions objectively and honestly. And let me tell you, it’s a lot harder than it seems! I’m still trying to come to terms with how testy I can be getting home from work and not being able to vegetate for thirty minutes on politics or baseball or whatever t.v. has to offer at 5:30 in the evening. I think it’s going to be a lot easier when the girls get older and are more self-sustaining with regards to how they spend their time, but maybe I’m just being naïve.

I’m the first to admit I’ve never been into children that much and I really didn’t take an interest in them until we had PJ. Now there’s days when all I’d like to do is spend time with her. It doesn’t take much to interest her, a simple game of kickball, or “hide and secret”, or her favorite game she calls “get yourself” which involves me chasing her around the backyard-not too cerebral of a game.

I see a time in the future when the fact that three girls living in a house is going to be just too much estrogen under one roof. I’ve never lived in a house with more than one girl in it. I’m not sure how I’m going to deal with the endless struggles for the bathroom before school and the fighting over clothes and the fact that once they’re teenagers I won’t matter…things like that.

Who Says We Haven't Evolved?

The above advertisement is by far my second most favorite ever! It's an ad for coffee! In my opinion this ad does not eclipse the ignominious "4 out of 5 doctors prefer Camel cigarettes" or

the ad that shows a smiling baby and a Marlboro box...those are in a class by themselves strinctly in the hypocrisy department. But in the sexist, male domination department, the above ad is number one. I salute you, days gone by". It's nice to see that you existed at one time. You're an effeective reminder that things have changed and that human beings do evolve culturally and morally...well at least in some respects.

And one more thing...STAY AWAY FROM GRANDPA!!"

A Wordle

This Wordle is from a short story I wrote a few years back. Try it...

http://wordle.net/create

Will The Last Responsible Republican Please Turn Out the Lights on Nov. 4th?

I don't know how anyone with a mind whose opinion is based on logic and intellect can support the notion of Bible Spice being employed in any capacity in the Executive Branch. I dare to say it's treason to support her as VP. No way is it in the best interest of the country to elect her as VP. This is a case of John McCain doubling down with an eight and the dealer has a face card showing. I do not believe that anyone who supports her is putting their country over their party...purely partisan move, and quite Bush-league I must say (pun intended).

Her debate last night showed her for the vapid, uninformed, anti-intellectual, Joanna six-pack, and logically defunct person she is. How can someone stand in front of the American people in the largest VP debate in history and say "I'm not concerned about the causes of climate change, I just want to find the solutions"??? If a rock keeps hitting me on the head, the solution will be in the cause-will it not? What or who is throwing the rock at me? Is it coming from a tree or building overhead? Am I thowing it at my own head? Perhaps if I just cut my head off this would no longer be a problem??

Thankfully Joe Biden was there to explain to some degree the vast complexities that this nation is facing and will face in the future. He looked like someone I could trust with our foreign policy and I haven't felt that way since 1999.

One thing is for sure, Cindy McCain has to be careful. John has a history of dumping his current wife for beauty pageant contestants. His first wife can speak to that.