Parent's Bill of Rights

                                                   

 There needs to be a parent’s bill of rights. There are some things in this world that we are simply entitled to. When I have the time to sit down and formally document the long list of rights I will include the following:

1^st Amendment: THE RIGHT TO A QUICK AND QUIET BREAKFAST

The right is paramount in my attempt to remain composed and in a positive mood. I have a right to enjoy a quick breakfast while reading the morning newspaper. For Laura and I that is difficult. Georgia vehemently disagrees with Amendment #1. She believes she has been bestowed with the inherent right to constantly require my attention in the morning regardless of my condition (late for work, feeling ill, hungover, etc…). On several occasions I have asked her to let me read the newspaper for 5 minutes, which she will grant. However, one minute later she’s back in the kitchen…”Daddy?”…I make direct eye contact with her and await her question. “Daddy?”…at this point I realize she will keep saying “Daddy?” even though I make it clear (through direct eye contact) that she has my full attention. I then have to say “Yes, Georgia?”  Then comes the realization that she has nothing to say or ask, I get a lot of “ummms and aaahhs” and then she makes up something odd right on the spot.

This morning she came up with “ummm…who’s your favorite princess?”

“My favorite princess is you”

“I’m not a princess, I’m Georgia”.

…and so it goes. I guess I try to read the newspaper at lunch.

2^nd  Amendment: THE RIGHT TO DRIVE THE KIDS AROUND TOWN WITHOUT CONSTANT INTERRUPTION

This drives Laura crazy. Like the issue previously mentioned, whenever Laura’s driving the girls around, Georgia requires constant engagement. When I’m in the car with them I try to deflect it as much as possible…

Georgia: “Mommy”

Me: “Georgia, mommy’s driving, talk to me. What do you want to say?”

Georgia: “Mommy”

 Me: “Georgia talk to me, not mom”

Georgia: “Oh yeah…mommy…I mean daddy”

Me: “Yes Georgia”

The next utterance from her is usually one of the three:

1    “I Love You”

           “Where are we going?”

      “Can I have some gum?”

Additional amendments go something like this…

3^rd Amendment: Parents shall receive at least 16 hours of sleep collectively (10 hours for me and 6 hours for Laura).

4th Amendment: After the age of eight, all dishes are to be washed by the children of the household.