Too Big To Cuddle

“I really don’t need another kid but Dot says these are gettin’ too big to cuddle”-Raising Arizona

They grow and grow and grow. They’re no longer the wee little one you could share a tender parent/child bonding moment by rocking them to sleep or feeding them a bottle while they’re little round eyes stare at your incredibly large head and large face smiling back at them. Soon to be gone are those moments when you feed your child something to eat while you clean up the kitchen and you hear these strange sounds coming from her direction while your back is turned. You take a glance at her and see her face is bright red and she continues to make this weird sound, like she’s gasping for air. Panic! "Agghhh"…the large pot falls on the kitchen floor as you make a mad dash to your child to perform the Heimlich wishing someone else was here more qualified for the endeavor. You get to your child…examine her up close, stare at her a bit perplexed… and realize she’s just really constipated. That happened to me yesterday morning…ugh!!

But while that intense parent/child bond may be changing on a very basic and intimate level, there’s one very important new developmental stage that’s growing exponentially- the sibling relationship. They play together, they chase each other around the house, PJ continuously builds castles with her building blocks and “The Georgia Monster” promptly walks up and destroys them, Georgia will laughingly whack PJ on the head with some random item and although PJ doesn’t like it, she understands the situation (Georgia’s only 14 months old) and takes it rather well.

I like taking little mental snapshots of where we are with the two young ladies. Much like rehab its one day at a time. Just enjoy what you got with the understanding that these stages of parenting are moving quickly…at the speed of life.

The joy and angst over child development can be encapsulated as such…

Useta Be
Useta be…..we would cuddle on the couch with a blanket and enjoy a few quaint moments of quiet and calm. I would steal a few glimpses at my favorite tv show and always be drawn back to your sleepy eyes and round little cheeks and oh so very sweet hands and gentleness.

Useta be…..you would perch in the crook of my elbow, our temples pressed together at the side of our faces, the whispery soft feel of blood pumping to your brain carrying thoughts and feelings.

Useta be… you would be perched in your car seat next, clapping your hands and hooting and hollering along with the latest songs that touched us both…songs like “Trash Truck”, “Worried Man Blues” and “What Do We Do With the Baby-O?”…all sung on our mutually off key chorus. We made up with enthusiasm what we lacked in ability.

Useta be……we snuggled together to read aloud books like the “Wolf and the Seven Kids”

Useta be…..you liked the clothes mom picked out for you to wear….well, most of the time anyway.

Useta be….. we would lace our fingers in the car, talk about things we saw at the side of the road, make up stories with your spelling words and share the things that went on in your world. We could solve any mystery…..any problem…..anything.

Useta be…….ours was the smile you looked for when you needed encouragement to try something new, pride when you accomplished a goal and comfort when things were not going so well.

Now, I fear the teenager that you may become. The one who has other priorities, who just says “Hi Dad” when you come in through the door, the one who listens to music only you can hear through your ipod ear plugs, scowls disdainfully at outfits of our choosing and seems to smile only if there is something to be gained. You deem homework as yours and not to be shared. You rage when I ask you to pick up your socks and shoes and every chore is completed with a stomp and a growl.

You’re too big to cuddle. You’re too private to share.

I am missing the useta bes…….