Getting Parker To Sing

Me and PJ in the kitchen, 9/5/09 11 am…”Hey Parker, I have an idea, let’s go to the garage and play band. I’ll play sound engineer and you play the lead singer in our new band. And for every verse you sing into the microphone correctly I will give you some gummi bears. How does that sound?”

Parker’s reply is “no thanks”.

Laura talking to PJ in the garage, 9/6/09 6:45 pm…“Parker, quit running around the room. I want you to gather yourself, come here, and look me in the eyes. This is your last chance, either you sing this song or you go to bed. Which will it be??”

I’ve tried to get her to sing this song many times but to no avail. But finally, it took some persistence, dedication, and some ethically questionable tactics to get Parker to sing the song. Laura very effectively accomplished the goal of getting her to sing the entire song. Unfortunately it was not in the right key and she sang it at a different tempo but perhaps I can make it work.

It’s important that this song be sung by a little girl who bears an angelic voice along with an ability to insert a sense of desperation and feeling into the song. I couldn’t find that little girl so Parker will have to do…..

The lyrics are as follows:

(Verse)
It happens all day long, that’s why I sing this song
I can’t do it myself so I say this all day long

I can’t reach it myself, I need a little help
Like that little thing I want way up on the shelf

Goin’ number two – droppin’ a deuce
I’d wipe it myself but it seems there is no use

Mommy says to try, on her I must rely
I ask her everytime and I hear a breathy sigh

(Bridge)
Seven times a day, mommy leads the way
She’s a trooper, I’m a pooper...

Mommy wipes it all away

(Chorus)
Mommy?
Mommy
Mommy?
Will you wipe my butt?
Will you wipe my butt?