Jul 5, 2012

This Butter Be Good



Wal-Mart continues to treat America right! behold, their latest contribution to human evolution...



"Wow, I can't believe I'm eating heavily processed hydrogenated oil with petroleum-based preservatives, stabilizers, artificial flavoring and artificial coloring!"

"Wow, I totally thought Anderson Cooper was straight...and informative!"

"Wow, I totally thought "50 Shades of Grey" was well written...and hot!"

In my opinion, butter is natural. It is an animal product that comes from cows. Margarine is synthetic. If you churn and beat the heck out of some milk and cream, you will eventually get butter. If you do the same to vegetable oil, you get vegetable oil and elbow tendinitis.


If I were to name this wonder monstrosity of yellow stuff I'd go with the following...

"The mystic chords of memory, stretching from every battlefield and patriot grave to every living heart and hearthstone all over this broad land, will yet swell the chorus of the Union, when again touched, as surely they will be, by the butter angels of our nature." 


-Abraham Lincoln's First Inaugural Address, March 4, 1861

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