Berkeley...where retro-cool happens

The Spoken Word (Part 2) and other musings

While sitting at the table last night with Parker I had another moment that inspired me to relish the stage of development Georgia is currently in. While looking at her profile and listening to Parker tell me about her exciting experience at the library; she was very excited about getting her first library card and checking out five books by herself, “I even wrote my name by myself on the paper!” she exclaimed, by the way thanks for not getting photos of this Laura, that $700 SLR camera is safe at home where it should be as opposed to capturing our children’s important milestones that I don’t get to experience because I have to work all day mired in responsibilities of providence and……but I digress. Anyhoo, while investigating her profile as she assiduously pieces together the 60- piece ballerina puzzle with very little assistance, I see a profile of a young mature person and I’m reminded of a famous phrase from Faulkner – “times is a thief of which we have no justice against”. Further analysis determined it wasn’t Faulkner but rather Patrick Swayze in “Road House”.

Translating from Georgia-nese to English.

Unfortunately, babelfish.com cannot help me in this matter, I have to rely on the two people that interact with her on a daily basis much more than myself. With that said, I am thankful for Parker and Laura and their effort to educate me on just what the heck Georgia is uttering. I hate it when I kneel down to Georgia’s level when she’s talking to me and I helplessly respond with a “Ohhh” or “really Georgia?” and nod my head and just smile like the president when he is at a staged photo-op with some foreign dignitary from Who-cares-istan without a translator in sight.

Such a helpless feeling.

I must say that it’s quite adorable to hear her talk. I know I’m going to miss it when she becomes fluent in English. Whenever I am in the position of listening to her speak I try to remind myself that this moment is fleeting.

Favorite Words or Phrases in Georgia-nese that I do Understand and Adore

1) When Parker and I were making chocolate shakes a couple nights ago, Georgia pushed one of the chairs from the dining table into the kitchen to “help”. While trying to make room for her to “help” she emphatically repeated “eschoo sme, eschoo sme”.
2) When she wants Parker’s attention she emphatically repeats “Parta, Parta”
3) When she says words like 'milk', 'chip' or 'help' she replaces the first and last consonant with the letter ‘P’ so the words sound like ‘pilp’, 'pip', and ‘pelp’.
4) Whenever the tv is on, she enthusiastically states in the format of a question "Bi-dett?!?", which translates in Georgia-nese as "do you know where my blanket is?"
5) When I give her something she wants she politely states “deece” which means ‘thanks’ in Georgia-nese.
6) When I'm doing something that deems interesting she'll say "a-shy" which means "I'd like to try".
7) When the tv is on something she doesn't want to watch she'll say "A doo doo?" which means "I'd like to watch Scooby Doo".

It's all in the delivery.

The Spoken Word

Slowly but quite surely, Georgia is really communicating with us. This weekend I noticed her vociferously stating “Parta, Parta” as she tries to get Parker’s attention from across the room.

Georgia has very good manners. Whenever we give her something (usually it’s something she wants) she immediately replies with a kind and hearty “deece”. The word “deece” dates back to the fifth century in ancient India. The term is ancient third or maybe fourth generation Sanskrit and carries the meaning “thanks doofus, now am I gonna get a lollipop or what?”

Or maybe she’s just trying to say “thanks”. I’m not sure.

I do have one general observation of children-if you put several children in a room with the t.v. off and they are loud and playing games and jumping off the furniture and bouncing off the walls, all it takes to get them to stop is to turn on Noggin. It’s quite scary to see how their behavior can take an immediate and complete 180 degree turn from being a pack of spastic hyenas, to a group of slow-termed lobotomized television viewers. Now that is the power of television.

Also, below are a few actual books we will not be reading to Georgia…

This one was definitely form a different era.

And last but not least...the title of Parker's autobiography when she gets a little older...(that's me in the slippers).

This and That

Crying on daddy's shoulder.

The girls love my baby shower cake.

Georgia wants to ride a bike so badly.Parker helps Ella ride a bike.

Georgia's first pony tails.

Scenes From The Desert

For weeks Parker has been very excited about Indio. When Parker is told that we are going on a vacation she gets tremendously excited even though she has no idea where we are going. After the Lake Arrowhead trip Laura and I were “in negotiations” on a trip to Lake Tahoe. Parker overheard some of that conversation and asked some questions and we left it at that. A few days later Parker was trying to recall the place where we were talking about going and started calling it “Lake Tahoe-head”.

She eagerly inquired about it for several days after continually referring to “Lake Tahoe-head”.

Feeding the duck.
The Lazy Riverdance.
The first picture in a long time where Grandma Powers did not blink.

Georgia at the pool waiting for the waitress to fetch her a fresh vodka martini.

Spelling and Counting

Parker is at this stage where she likes to count things. She proudly states the she can count to 101 however, she needs a little help getting there. Whenever Laura and I read to her she seizes the opportunity to show off her counting skills, "Mom, let me count all the cars on the page 1,2,3,4,5,6, etc..." or "Dad, watch me count the number of letters on that sign".

Spelling out her name is another act Parker like to partake in. Sometimes writing it is just not good enough so...why not Play-doh??

I'm afraid her love of counting took a turn for the worse(in my opinion) though. Yesterday I was laying on the couch and she was sitting next to me when she started investigating my head. "Daddy, I think I can count all the hairs on the top of your head because I can count all the way to 101 and I don't think there's 101 hairs on the top of your head Daddy. I'll start counting there's one, two, three, four..."

"Alright Parker I get your point - now go play in traffic or something."

She'll get hers someday.

Lake Arrowhead

We went to Aunt Julie's cabin at Lake Arrowhead for my birthday. I got to see falling snow for the first time in my 34 years of life.

Grandma reading to the kids.

Dad and Jules

Georgia only wanted her mommy to hold her when we were out in the snow. This is how she looked when she wasn't in my arms.

It really started snowing just before bedtime. We couldn't resist; instead we just opened the slider and let them celebrate.

Parker’s Significant Life Event #842

Part of the joy of parenthood is exposing your child to new activities. These new discoveries are just as exciting for us as they are for our children. I still remember the day in the kitchen when Laura exposed Parker to the devilishly delicious taste of chocolate as well as the artful act of licking the beater. Parker hasn’t been the same since.

So the next logical step in child development has to be…bowling.


I think the most surprising revelation about our bowling date was the realization that Laura has something in common with our President - they both suck at bowling. More importantly I do think that Laura could take him on the basketball court though.




Somehow Parker got a spare.


However, the one thing she really enjoyed were the bowling shoes she got to wear.


I don’t think it was much of an experience for Parker because she hasn’t mentioned it since. I think she finds it about as amusing as Laura and I do. Maybe it’s genetic.

The Stay-At-Home-Mom (SAHM) Olympics (inspired by the Winter Olympics and a posting from Jen Mowad)

1st event: Diaper Changing - now keep in mind that this isn’t merely a speed event, there is quite a bit of judging involved. The judging has to include several key elements:
1. Contentment of the child- is he/she happy while the diaper is being changed? Points are deducted for crying and added for laughing.
2. Movement of the child – is the child remaining inert while diaper is being changed or is the beast trying to constantly roll over and move around?
3. Rash – points deducted for rashes, it implies mother is not applying proper ointments (Desidin, talc, etc…) to alleviate discomfort.
4. Number of children – the more children you have the higher the degree of difficulty (bonus points if their twins)
5. Degree of odor – the more heinous the smell the higher the degree of difficulty awarded
6. Density of bowel movement produced - reflects the type of diet the mother has implemented for the child. If the excrement is too runny, mother is not feeding child enough fiber and bananas (points deducted), if the excrement is too dense a significant risk of constipation is evident (points deducted-lay off the bananas).

Points also deducted for cheating! The contestant may not “sneek a peek” down the child’s pants to see if there is excrement. Nor can the contestant pick the child up and put her nose in the child’s crotch to detect odor (Laura!). Knowledge of dirty diaper can only be determined by a casual odor detection method (child walking or crawling by parent). Bonus points awarded for diaper change detection based solely on instincts.

AUTOMATIC GOLD MEDAL AWARDED TO MOTHER USING CLOTH DIAPERS. CONGRATULATORY LETTER FROM AL GORE TO FOLLOW AT A LATER DATE.

2nd Event: Offensive Driving Because Your Child Is Late to Pre-School, Dance Lessons, Psychotherapy appointment, Soccer game, et al. – this is another event that’s based on scores from judges and times. Scores are evaluated on the following criteria:
1. Ability of the SAHM to have children dressed and ready. The more children involved, the higher degree of difficulty (bonus points received if twins are involved).
2. Ability of SAHM to methodically anticipate effective lane changes that will decrease time needed to reach destination.

Points deducted for stopping at gas stations. Shows contestant has not shown proper foresight (Laura!) in transporting children to destination.

Points deducted for traffic citations received while transporting children to destination. No additional comments needed.

3rd Event: Cake Making – an essential part of all child development is the mother’s ability to bake a birthday cake. Scores are evaluated on the following criteria:
1. Creativity – judges are allowed discretion on contestant’s ability to design a cake that jives with the particular birthday party theme.
2. Ice Cream Cake – additional points awarded if cake includes ice cream (judges preference).
3. Butter Cream Frosting – extra points awarded, enough said.
4. Type of Ice Cream Served With Cake – additional points if ice cream complements cake (e.g. a cake made up of layers of chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry accompanied with neopolitan ice cream)

Points deducted for birthday cake being purchased from outside entity. Cheater! Cheater! You Can’t Lick the Beater! Additional point deducted if the cake was purchased from Costco, yuck.

4th Event: Prepare Children For Bed So That Daddy Can Lay On The Couch and Watch Olympic Hockey When He Gets Home From Work…this one was my idea.

Further events will be reported on in monthly installments…input and ideas for new events are always welcome!